June 10 - first half

Today started very early...I had to take my BFF to have surgery, which went well but left me exhausted! I did get a chance to have some interesting conversations with her mom, though...which I will save for a later time.

After my nap (yea!) I started dinner...lasagna! (I wonder if my family will notice that I substituted soy meat crumbles for the ground beef?) While I waited for the sauce to simmer, I read some more of Breaking Dawn, which is even better the second time through. Almost done...which makes me sad. What will I read now? Actually, I should read A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man since I will be teaching it in the fall. A man living a contemplative life...perfect.

After dinner, Jeff and I are taking Laney to Borders, so she can feed her own hunger for books. I love that she loves to read. I cannot wait until she is older and reads what I read. Then we can sit for hours and analyze the books together. I KNOW she is going to be as analytical as I am; I can see it already in her profound questions. We are already close...but that will be really amazing when we can do that. She has already declared that she will be an English teacher when she grows up. I try to warn her against the grading, but she doesn't seem to mind. She already helps me grade...she writes comments on the papers, such as "good job" or "nice work." The students love it!

Right now, I am listening to the song "The Shade of Poison Trees" over and over. I love the title. A bit of an oxymoron. Shade implies relief or protection. Poison obviously doesn't. So, how do the poison trees actually "shade" anything at all? Perhaps the shade that the poison gives is only an illusion...which makes the poison even more dangerous. We sometimes think something is good for us...but then too much of it chokes us. But the burning of the poison feels so good sometimes, we can't help but to fall prey to it. I also like the allusion of the trees...to the Tree of Life, I think. Again, pointing out the power of temptation. Eve knew it was poison; she knew she would die. She ate anyway. She was standing in the shade, believing she was safe (as the song suggests)...the safety was only an illusion. In truth, real safety has no temptation...does it? We are never tempted to take make the safe choice. And if you choose the poison, how long do you get to enjoy it before it destroys you? How long does the pleasure last before it turns to pain? The answer is...it doesn't matter. The desire, the overwhelming pleasure of only a fraction of a second, in that exact moment, is worth the pain that follows. Everyone chooses the poison. At least anyone whose heart beats passionately.

Enough for now...until the dark descends.